Third Place – Connie M. (9-10th grade category)

Third Place – Connie M. (9-10th grade category)

The One Who is Silent – Connie M.

I hate it when people say I’m angry all the time, because it’s not true.
I have always been a serious person who doesn’t talk that much when meeting people.
Kind of like that kid who gets nervous when speaking in front of twenty people. It’s annoying how people say that I’m angry when I’m not.
I am the Silent One, the one who doesn’t speak that much unless spoken to. Sometimes I talk, sometimes I don’t.
I’ve been told that I always look so depressed and sad.
“No, I’m just tired.” I respond.
It’s annoying how my family says that I’m angry all the time, and when I laugh at something, they are always so surprised or they ask:
“What’s wrong with you? What are you laughing at?”
And me here, laughing at memes, turns serious all of the sudden.

Can’t I laugh? Can’t I laugh without people telling me I’m weird?
My dad always says “You’re just like your mom. Always mad. You’re bitter like her.”

Before we came from Mexico, me and my brother slept on the same bed. One time he was talking to his girlfriend through a speaker. I wanted to sleep. In my mind I was saying: “Turn the stupid phone off and go to sleep!” Because I was frustrated.
It’s frustrating how parents are always yelling at you and you’re the one who is the responsible for everything.

“Why did you hit Max?”
“He hit me first!”
“No, you are mean to him.”
I’m the third wheel, even though I’m the youngest one. My brothers call me spoiled, but I say they are the spoiled ones, because they have gone around the world before I was even thought of.

Other thing that bothers me is that just because I’m a female, I can’t do certain things.
“You can’t say cuss words because that is not ladylike.”
“You have to wear dresses because you’re a woman.”

“You have to do chores.”
“You can’t do what men do.”
“You can’t ride bulls because you’ll be injured forever.”
“You can’t wear dark colors, wear pink and purple and colorful things.”
“You have to be skinny.”
“You have to wear makeup when you’re older.”
I do like dresses and makeup, but not that much.
People have told my mom that I’m serious all the time because I don’t wear makeup. And I’m fine with that.
I dislike people who are sexist.
They think that girls have to be ladylike all the time. They have to be ladylike.

They have to act ladylike. They have to speak ladylike.
Women are expected to be always beautiful and skinny and perfect and have good manners.
What about tomboys?
I guess life is a struggle.
I am the only one in my family who is the Silent One.
I never speak with my brothers about anything. If I do, that’s rare.
I am more close to my father than my mother, because I would always sit on his lap and he would pretend his lap was a horse. I would give him kisses on his cheek, and hug him. I rarely kiss my mother in her cheek, but I hug her.
I’m not that close to my brother Max, if I tell him something, he tells on me. I rarely hug him, we were never that close, we were distant. I never talk to him, and when I do, he is always on his phone and never listens to me. I never tell him my problems, I never tell him anything personal. We never talk.
We would always fight as little kids, and we still do. My mother says that in the future, we will stop; but I don’t think that’s true.
Why is that as little kids, we are very close to our parents, and when we grow up we become distant?